So the other day we were scrolling through available movies on streaming, and I spotted The Outsiders* on the list. Readers of a certain age** are likely to remember The Outsiders, the novel, which we all read in high school back in the day. Or at least, most of us did.
Me: “Hey, look! The Outsiders!”
Wife: “What’s The Outsiders?”
The Outsiders, of course, is a novel written by Susan Eloise Hinton, which at the suggestion of her publisher was released in 1967 under her initials, as S.E. Hinton, because God forbid you should publish a young adult novel with male characters under the name of a female author since no boys will want to read it. Good thing we’ve come a long way since then, right, J.K. Rowling?
Anyway, having spotted the trailer for The Outsiders, I decided my wife simply had to watch it (the trailer, not the movie).
Me: “Watch this trailer. You’re going to see extremely young versions of people you recognize.”
So … Did my wife see extremely young versions of people she recognized? What do you think? Let’s review:
Wife: “Who’s that?”
Wife: “That name is familiar, but I don’t know the face …”
Wife: “It’s wax-on, wax-off!!!”
Me: “Don’t worry about this one, I know you don’t know who Diane Lane is. But I do.”
Wife: “The name is familiar, but I don’t recognize him.”
Wife: “Everybody knows him! But he’s dead now.”
Wife: “I don’t know who that is.”
Me: “What?! He was in The Breakfast Club!
Wife: “I didn’t watch The Breakfast Club. It was so boring.”
Me: “You’re gonna get kicked out of Generation X, saying things like that.”
Me: “I know you know this one.”
Wife: “Yes, I know that one. Crazy short couch-jumping guy. Does he even still make movies?”
Me: “Oh sure, he’s got a sequel to Top Gun coming out soon, I think.”***
Me: “What about Leif Garrett?”
Wife: “Uhh, no.”
Me: “Really? Famous singer? Teen idol?”
Wife: “What did he sing?”
Me: “Umm … I don’t know. But he was famous once.” (beat) “Bob. He plays Bob. You’ve got Ponyboy, Dallas, Cherry, Sodapop, Two-Bit, and … Bob.“
Me: “Look at that! Co-Starring Tom Cruise! He not only gets ninth billing, he only gets a co-starring! When do you suppose was the last time that happened to Tom Cruise?”****
So there you have it: The Outsiders, featuring a bunch of people whose names kind of sound familiar, plus wax-on-wax-off, the dead guy, and the short crazy guy. An all-star production!
But boy, movie trailers sure were boring 40 years ago.
* Not to be confused with the Stephen King outsider.
** I.E., mine.
*** Of course, before I see that—and speaking of things that can get you kicked out of Generation X—I should probably see the original Top Gun FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER …
**** Probably in The Outsiders.