Not to the tune of the original commercial, but to the tune of this scene in Scrubs:
Wife: “Book covers always look cooler on the computer.”
Me: “You can’t really get that backlit glow effect with a paperback.”
Wife: “Yeah, true. Well, when people are shopping for it, they’ll be seeing the cover on a screen, so it’ll be fine.”*
That’s my proof copy from Amazon, which is why it says “Not for Resale” across it in lovely white on grey lettering, to make sure I don’t order a bunch of proofs on the cheap and then hawk them for a tidy profit, not unlike how my copy of the Alexandra Slate album Edge of the Girl says it’s a promotional CD and not for resale. And yet I own it, and even though it’s long since out of print, you can own it too, for the low low price of $69.99**.
Due to technical issues (i.e., the site’s failure to accept what should be a valid fee-waiving promo code from the Alliance of Independent Authors), I’m still working on the IngramSpark edition of the paperback, which is the one distributed through non-Amazon channels such as Barnes & Noble; but it’ll get sorted out eventually. Seeing as how nobody actually buys my books through non-Amazon channels, that’s not such a big deal anyway. I just have a thing about not liking to limit my books’ availability to just one walled-garden ecosystem.
Yeah, I know, with my Mac and my iPhone, I mostly live in a walled garden anyway, but my current eReader is a PocketBook. So there.
Look at me, fightin’ the power.
* Since you’re seeing it on a screen, you are, in fact, getting that backlit glow effect, even in the picture of the cover.
** It’s good, but it’s not that good.