Not A Review Of “Captain America: Civil War”

So this week, we watched “Captain America: Civil War“, AKA “The One Where Everybody Fights Everybody Else”.

civilwar

Hey, Hawkeye.  Never get into a staring contest with a cat.

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Not A Review Of “Spectre”

So last week I saw the most recent James Bond movie, “Spectre”, which means I’m finally caught up on all the Daniel Craig Bond flicks.

spectre

Our Heroes, standing in front of someone who is not Baron Samedi

I think Bond and Dr. Swann may have just finished their rendition of Maxim Kozhevnikov and Yulia Zagoruychenko’s samba routine to “Hip Hip Chin Chin” …

thebeat

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Not A Review Of “Event Horizon”

So October seems to have been my month for getting caught up on movies I should have seen long ago, but didn’t.  A few weeks ago, it was 1997’s “Contact“; and on Halloween, I finally got around to seeing the cult SF/horror film “Event Horizon“, also from 1997.

eventhorizon

Event Horizon: Coming soon to VHS!

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Not A Review Of “Deadpool”

So this week, we (meaning I) watched “Deadpool“, the (other) superhero movie featuring a foul-mouthed anti-hero who dispenses insults and jokes almost as fast as he kills bad guys.

deadpool

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Not A Review Of “Midnight Special”

So this week we started watching the film “Midnight Special“, in which a little boy goes on a fun road trip with his dad and his dad’s friend. Or something like that.

Have I seen you lately?

Have I seen you lately?

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Not A Review Of “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”

So the other week we I watched “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter“.

Me: <shows NetFlix envelope to wife>
Wife: “What’s that?”
Me:  “‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’.”
Wife: “Uh-huh.”

Later:

Me:  <loading disc into player>
Wife: “What’s this?”
Me:  “‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’.”
Wife: “You were serious about that?”

Sadly, yes. Yes I was was.

alvh

Nice hat.

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Not A Review Of “Orphan Black”

It’s probably not a surprise to anyone that I’ve been watching BBC’s “Orphan Black” since the first episode. “Orphan Black” is, of course, a show about a vast conspiracy to create, monitor, monetize, and sometimes terminate human clones, which is totally up my alley, right?

I see a mouse ... and horsies ... and a butterfly ... and Tatiana Maslany ... and Tatiana Maslany ... and Tatiana Maslany ... and ...

I see a sheep … and horsies … and a butterfly … and Tatiana Maslany … and Tatiana Maslany … and Tatiana Maslany … and …

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Not A Review Of “Jurassic World”

So this week we’ve been watching “Jurassic World“, in which things get a little out of hand at the Wild Animal Park Safari Park Jurassic Park Jurassic World theme park, a lovely place which looks like someone put the Safari Park and Sea World together in a tumbler, shook it up, and poured the resulting slurry out into a Hawaiian valley.  The cause of the chaos this time is not a hurricane or corporate espionage, but rather, some overly ambitious genetic engineering combined with generally poor animal husbandry and a door that could maybe have been reinforced a little better. This all leads up to a designersaurus that’s much smarter and more versatile than it should be, which uses its mad skilz to escape its enclosure and go marauding.  Hilarity ensues.  And by “hilarity” I mean “lots of people getting eaten by dinosaurs”.

jurassic_world_gate

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.*
*Does not apply to Chris Pratt or Bryce Dallas Howard

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Not A Review Of “Ant-Man”

So recently we watched “Ant-Man“, in which Jack Colton gives Phoebe’s boyfriend/(spoiler alert)husband Mike a suit that allows him to shrink down to the size of an insect, while Kate glowers disapprovingly.  Hilarity ensues.

tiny_ant_man

My eyes are up here.

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