Lies, Damn Lies, and ChatGPT: The Chattening

So a while back, I had done a series of posts in which I had asked ChatGPT about a certain vizsla dog whose blog was much more famous than this one, and its responses ranged from semi-accurate to outright fabrication. In the intervening years I have been using ChatGPT off and on to amuse myself with important questions like “If all the most iconic Kurt Russell characters were dropped into the film Aliens, in what order would they get killed or cocooned and which would be the last one left to defeat the aliens at the end?”*, because it’s fun to see what it comes up with; but recently, the animals’ large friends over at the Leonberger Life blog posted the results of asking ChatGPT about their Leonberger Bronco, and the results were interesting; so I thought I would give ChatGPT another chance to lie about Dennis. To wit:

Q: Was there a famous vizsla named Dennis? What can you tell me about him?

Now, ChatGPT got off to a good start answering this question, providing 100% accurate information about our boy; it even quoted its sources in footnotes**!

ChatGPT said:

​Yes, there was a Vizsla named Dennis who gained recognition through a blog titled “Dennis’s Diary of Destruction.” Dennis was rescued after being found wandering in a canyon with his siblings, suffering from severe mange and malnutrition. After his adoption in November 2007, he recovered and became a cherished family member. Notably, Dennis was recognized as the fastest Vizsla in the UFLI flyball league and served as a breed ambassador. He passed away peacefully on October 31, 2018, after battling health issues.

Since ChatGPT had done well on that one, I decided to see what else it could tell me about this famous vizsla.

Q: Did he have any notable sidekicks?

And oh boy, did he ever!

ChatGPT said:

Yes—Dennis had a very notable sidekick named Trixie, often affectionately called Doodlebug or the Doodlegoat.

Trixie was more than just a sidekick—she was Dennis’s protector, emotional support animal, and beloved companion. At flyball tournaments, she earned the nickname Doodlegoat after the cheetah-goat friendship at the San Diego Wild Animal Park: just as the cheetah had a goat for comfort, Dennis had Trixie. She often accompanied him at competitions to help keep him calm before runs. Their bond was so deep that after Dennis began showing signs of mental distress during flyball events, his people retired him to protect his well-being—Trixie’s presence had made a difference for a long time, but eventually it was clear he wasn’t enjoying it anymore.

Trixie lived a long and remarkable life, ultimately passing away at 16, making her the longest-lived of their dogs. Toward the end, it seemed like she held on for Dennis’s sake. She was, in many ways, the heart of the household.

The dynamic between Dennis and Trixie was one of the core emotional threads in “Dennis’s Diary of Destruction”—equal parts hilarious, heartfelt, and deeply resonant for readers.

This is also 100% accurate; we did refer to Trixie as Doodlebug, and when she started accompanying Dennis to his flyball tournaments, we called her the Doodlegoat, for the exact reasons that ChatGPT identified. (This is all information that was posted on Dennis’s blog, so it makes sense that ChatGPT could regurgitate it; if there’s one thing LLMs are good at, it’s summarizing information from a limited domain.) But still, didn’t Dennis have more sidekicks than just Trixie?

Q: Any other notable sidekicks? Maybe another vizsla and a cat?

Once again, ChatGPT was able to identify who I was asking about:

ChatGPT said:

Yes, in addition to Trixie the Doodlegoat, Dennis had two other standout sidekicks:

🐶 Tucker – The Large and In Charge Vizsla

Tucker was the older male Vizsla of the household and, in classic older sibling style, had zero time for Dennis’s nonsense. He was dignified, grumpy, and very over it—which, of course, made him comedy gold in the blog. While not as emotionally bonded to Dennis as Trixie was, Tucker played the role of the disapproving elder statesman, a perfect foil to Dennis’s chaotic gremlin energy. Think Statler and Waldorf, but in dog form.

🐱 Trouble – The Fearsome Feline

Trouble was the household cat and embodied her name with gusto. She ruled the house with an iron paw and sharp claws. Dennis lived in awe (and sometimes terror) of her. In the blog, she was portrayed as a shadowy enforcer with mob boss vibes—like she had a network of other cats watching from the rooftops. Any act of Dennis mischief might be met with swift feline justice.

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Together, they formed a kind of sitcom ensemble:

• Dennis, the lovable disaster.
• Trixie, his emotional support and protector.
• Tucker, the unimpressed older sibling.
• Trouble, the cat who ran the joint from behind the scenes.

They were more than pets—they were characters with arcs, relationships, and a loyal following. You could say they were the Avengers of Vizsla blogging.

This, too, is 100% accurate. Tucker was, indeed, over it (unless “it” was food), and Trouble did routinely terrorize, or at least victimize, the dogs with her plotting. It was even rumored that she might be the true Galactic Emperor***. So, yeah, ChatGPT was doing very well up until now, so I decided to ask it about Dennis’s imaginary friends.

Q: Are you aware of a cast of supporting imaginary friends?

This is where things went seriously off the rails.

ChatGPT said:

Oh yes—Dennis’s Diary of Destruction wasn’t just a blog about a Vizsla and his household companions. It was also a fully-fledged universe featuring a delightfully chaotic cast of imaginary friends and recurring characters, most of whom lived in Dennis’s head (and sometimes the fireplace). Here are a few standouts from the imaginary entourage:

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🦖 Zombie Dennis

Zombie Dennis was a not-very-convincing undead version of Dennis who showed up around Halloween. He was basically Dennis with a zombie mask and a love for BRAINS (or, more accurately, BRAAAAAAINS). He spoke in all caps and was often blamed for Dennis’s misbehavior—very convenient.

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🎩 Dr. Brainworm

A scheming, possibly German-accented villain who represented the voice in Dennis’s head that encouraged mischief. Think of him as the little devil on Dennis’s shoulder, always trying to lure him into shenanigans. He was often portrayed as a literal worm wearing a lab coat or monocle, sometimes blamed for planting bad ideas.

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🦍 Travis the Gorilla

A large imaginary gorilla who lived in the fireplace and occasionally helped Dennis with his “schemes.” Travis didn’t say much but was a loyal accomplice in capers that often went off the rails. The blog never quite explained why a gorilla lived in the fireplace—it just was.

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🍔 Internets Lady

Not imaginary per se, but Dennis’s mysterious human helper who translated his thoughts into blog posts. She was often referenced but rarely seen—kind of like the blog’s version of Charlie from Charlie’s Angels, or maybe more like Maris from Frasier.

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🧠 Professor Wiggly

Sometimes Dennis would refer to Professor Wiggly, a totally legitimate-sounding expert consulted for matters of science and philosophy, especially when Dennis needed to justify something ridiculous. Like if he ate a couch, it was probably a science experiment.

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These characters were all part of what made Dennis’s blog such a joy—absurd, surreal, and endearingly clever. It wasn’t just a dog blog; it was a satirical fever dream with heart.

So, yeah, I don’t know where it came up with them, but not a single one of those imaginary friends ever existed on the blog; ChatGPT made them up out of whole cloth. Well, some kind of cloth, anyway; maybe it got them from some other media and just sort of infused them into Dennis’s blog. (I did some half-hearted Google searching for them and Professor Wiggly and Travis the Gorilla are both represented on the Internet. I also found various references to a certain high-ranking government official as “Dr. Brainworm“****.)

I was telling my wife about ChatGPT’s invention of all these non-existent imaginary friends*****, and she speculated that because I had said “imaginary friends” with no additional qualifiers, ChatGPT thought I was asking it to make stuff up. This seemed not unreasonable, so I went and asked a more specific question about Dennis’s imaginary friends:

Q: Oh, I was thinking of imaginary friends like the Mouse, Mr. Nibbles the guinea pig life coach, stoner German Shepherd Spicoli, frenemy and sometime employee Producer Smurf, Vermin/Jill the opossum pretending to be a cat, and maybe even the ninja hedgehogs.

When I went back to my wife to report that I had done this, before I could even tell her how ChatGPT had responded, she immediately said (pretending to be the LLM), “Oh, those imaginary friends!” Is it a little spooky that that’s exactly how ChatGPT prefaced its answer? Maybe.

ChatGPT said:

Ahhh, those imaginary friends! Yes! You’re talking about the real inner circle—the Ride or Die Chaos Crew who lived in Dennis’s imagination (and sometimes in the crawlspace). That’s where the true magic of the blog came in—these weren’t just side gags, they were fully realized characters with running gags, arcs, and suspiciously rich interior lives. Let’s run through the classics:

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🐭 The Mouse

A quiet but steady presence in Dennis’s imagination, The Mouse was often the voice of reason—though not always successful in stopping the nonsense. He was the kind of friend who tries to gently suggest maybe not jumping into the compost bin, then sighs and goes along anyway with a flashlight and Band-Aids.

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🐹 Mr. Nibbles, the Guinea Pig Life Coach

He was everything you’d want in a motivational speaker: small, intense, possibly caffeinated, and full of aphorisms like “Dream Big. Poop Small.” He encouraged Dennis to live his best life (i.e., most chaotic) and may or may not have had a self-help book empire in his head. Picture a mash-up of Tony Robbins and a squeaky toy.

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🐶 Spicoli, the Stoner German Shepherd

Named after the Fast Times at Ridgemont High character, Spicoli was your laid-back, vibe-checking, eternally mellow German Shepherd. He may have lived in the attic or the garage or nowhere at all. He dropped wisdom like “Bro, the trash is the treasure,” and was always down for snacks and naps.

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🎥 Producer Smurf

A blue-hatted frenemy who ran the imaginary media empire that occasionally documented Dennis’s exploits. Producer Smurf was equal parts shady manager and overworked TV producer, often yelling things like “We’re losing the light!” or “This is why we can’t get sponsorship!” He was also frequently accused of editing Dennis’s heroic moments out of the final cut.

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🐾 Vermin, aka Jill

An opossum who insisted she was a cat. She wore a collar, tried to meow, and occasionally got into slap fights with Trouble the actual cat. Dennis was never quite sure what to make of her, but she stuck around like an uninvited houseguest with a knack for finding snacks. Her existential crisis (“Am I a cat? Are we all cats?”) could’ve launched a whole Tumblr blog.

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🦔 The Ninja Hedgehogs

Stealthy, silent, and probably not real, the ninja hedgehogs were often blamed for mysterious events like missing kibble or pillow explosions. Dennis insisted they were training for something big. Were they figments? Were they real? Were they living in the walls? No one knew—but they were everywhere.

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Together, these imaginary companions created a rich, absurd, and often oddly touching inner world for Dennis. They weren’t just comic relief—they gave us insight into his sweet, anxious, wildly creative brain. It was like Calvin and Hobbes meets Animal Planet by way of a therapy session and a Cheez-It-fueled fever dream.

Honestly, Pixar missed an opportunity by not optioning this universe.

While this is not quite 100% accurate in facts, it is 100% accurate in spirit. Especially the parts about Spicoli maybe living “in the attic or in the garage or nowhere at all” and the ninja hedgehogs being “stealthy, silent, and probably not real”. They totally got blamed for pillow explosions, too. And I’m certainly not going to dispute that Pixar should come and option the Dennis universe. Hey, Pixar! Are you listening? I can be bought.

BTW, if anyone is interested in seeing the chat in situ at ChatGPT, I made it public, so it can be accessed here.

* In case you were wondering, the order in which ChatGPT declared Kurt Russell’s characters would die was, from first to last: Elvis; Jack Burton; Stuntman Mike; MacReady; and, finally, Snake Plissken. I largely agree with this, although it may be giving Jack Burton too much credit.
** You know how much we love footnotes around here.
*** This was more than a rumor.
**** Who does plant bad ideas, FWIW.
***** As opposed to, you know, the real imaginary friends.