So as I’ve mentioned numerous times, we got in the habit of leaving subtitles on a long time ago, when Dennis became an Old Man Dog and would frequently complain to us that we should stop watching television because he wanted to go to bed; and thus we were introduced to the world of subtitles that are amusing in their own right, humorously inaccurate, or in open rebellion against what the actual dialog is. But this may be the first time we’ve run into subtitles that are humorously inaccurate yet also completely appropriate, and it comes from (you guessed it) the TV show House.
Now, first, a little backstory: In this episode, House takes on as a patient a 15-year-old girl with a form of dwarfism who is suffering from what everyone thinks is liver failure. He correctly predicts that the condition is progressive and that her pancreas is about to fail, but no one listens to him (because reasons), so they proceed with a liver biopsy, or something. Or at least, they attempt to. Before they can even sedate her, the girl slips into unconsciousness as a result of some manner of insulin shock, and the team calls for an emergency insulin drip to save her. OR DO THEY?
So on the Apple TV, there are many apps, one of which of course is the YouTube app. I don’t spend a lot of time watching stuff on YouTube, but when there are a few minutes to kill—say, for instance, I’m waiting for my wife to come and sit down so we can watch House’s minions jab giant needles into people’s spines—I will sometimes call up the YouTube app for a few minutes. Now, I know YouTube has a radicalization problem, whereby its algorithmic recommendation engine tends to push more and more extreme videos based on engagement, but my YouTube experience isn’t like that; for me, the recommendations consist mostly of funny animal videos, people talking about science fiction or fantasy books or shows, various Honest Trailers, a lawyer’s humorous reactions to various legal scenarios both real and fictional, and indie music stuff. Such as this:
So as I’ve mentioned once or twice, for a while now we’ve been watching Mad Men* streaming on AMC+. I haven’t done a “Not a Review” of it, mainly because it never puts my wife to sleep, barring extenuating circumstances, such as starting an episode right before bedtime (and even then she still might stay awake for it). This puts it right up there with Breaking Bad** and The Queen’s Gambit*** on the short list of “Shows That Never Put My Wife To Sleep”, but also leaves me with not much to write about it, since I, of course, don’t do actual reviews myself, on account of I like everything. Except August Rush.
So as I’ve mentioned a number of times, we got in the habit years ago of watching television and movies with the subtitles turned on, because when Dennis the Vizsla got to be a Little Old Man Dog he would, on occasion, decide it was Time To Go To Bed, and when he decided that, he would stand in the living room loudly proclaiming it. (His brother Tucker, on the other hand, when he was a Little Old Man Dog, would just hie himself off to bed and burrow under the covers on his own. Tucker liked to take the initiative that way.)
Does it say “Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding”? No, that’s what the fox says, apparently. The frog mostly says things that nobody can understand. But at least the subtitles are there to clarify things, so we can definitively answer this question. What does the frog say when she meets the Mandalorian? She speaks frog.
As I’ve mentioned several times before, back when Dennis the Vizsla had become a noisy-little-old-man-loudly-complaining-that-it’s-bedtime dog, we got in the habit of running videos with the closed-captioning turned on. Sometimes the closed-captioning has typos. Sometimes the typos are pretty amusing. And sometimes they may reveal something about the program you’re watching …
So I’ve mentioned a few times that during the last year or two of Dennis’s life, when he got in the habit of complaining loudly in the evenings that he thought it was time for everyone to go to bed*, we humans got in the habit of watching television with the subtitles on, so as not to have to keep pausing and going back to catch missed dialog. Running with the subtitles on also has the occasional side effect of injecting a little bit of extra amusement value, such as describing characters’ speech as “French-like gibberish” or saying things that seem prima facie ridiculous such as “goo snarling“. But then, sometimes, you get cases where the characters say one thing but the subtitles say something completely different and you say to yourself, that can’t possibly be a mistake. To wit:
So this week I have a bit of a smorgasbord from our viewing over the last few months: Things that are not long enough to become their own “Not a Review” but that I found amusing at the time. Because, really, this blog is mostly a series of posts about things that amuse me. Mostly.