Not a Review of “Adventures in Babysitting”

So the perspicacious reader may have noticed that there hasn’t been a “Not a Review” post in a while. For the most part, this is because we have temporarily canceled our Netflix streaming and disc-by-mail accounts, in order to save a few bucks* a month. The streaming part, we canceled because there’s literally** nothing on Netflix that my wife wants to watch, while I’m all caught up on Dark and The Umbrella Academy and Kingdom, and who knows when Stranger Things is going to come back, and when I tried to watch Warrior Nun I quickly concluded that it was more or less a Buffy wannabe, plus I immediately (and correctly) guessed what the big twist was going to be; and as for the discs, well, when they arrive I put them on the fireplace mantel until we watch them, which can sometimes take over a week, depending, and I kind of got tired of having red envelopes up there glaring at me and saying “You’re spending $10 a month for me to be sitting up here doing nothing.” (Under other circumstances, when we were not home all the time, one could tend to forget that the disc was there waiting; now, not so much.)

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The Subtitle Rebellion

So I’ve mentioned a few times that during the last year or two of Dennis’s life, when he got in the habit of complaining loudly in the evenings that he thought it was time for everyone to go to bed*, we humans got in the habit of watching television with the subtitles on, so as not to have to keep pausing and going back to catch missed dialog. Running with the subtitles on also has the occasional side effect of injecting a little bit of extra amusement value, such as describing characters’ speech as “French-like gibberish” or saying things that seem prima facie ridiculous such as “goo snarling“. But then, sometimes, you get cases where the characters say one thing but the subtitles say something completely different and you say to yourself, that can’t possibly be a mistake. To wit:

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Subtitles

Over the past several years, after Dennis the Vizsla Dog became a little old man dog, he got in the habit of being noisy in the evenings, loudly complaining via barks and whines that he wanted everyone to stop watching television and go to bed at, oh, 8pm* or so. To an extent, this could be managed with things like the Treat & Train or simply by the occasional tossing of treats (which Hipster Chaplin thought was wonderful, because he was faster than Dennis at that point, with a better nose). Another way this was managed: Putting on subtitles for everything we watched. Because if you can’t listen, you can always read.

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A Review Of Who Might Or Might Not Make A Good Genie

So recently I was reading an article in Entertainment Weekly about Disney’s upcoming live-action version of Aladdin and, noting that the Genie would be played by one of my wife’s favorite actors, I thought I would see if she had heard about it.

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Not A Review Of “The Milagro Beanfield War”

So being one of those curmudgeonly holdout types who still receives discs in the mail from Netflix (or Qwikster or DVD.com or whatever it is these days) means that not only does my wife get to fall asleep during the latest blockbusters, but also during weird indie movies and older movies that I never got around to watching back in the day. For instance, this one:

 

milagro
This Redford kid may have a future in directing.

 

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Not a Review of “Three Billboards Outside Ebbings, Missouri”

So this week we finally got around to watching “Three Billboards Outside Ebbings, Missouri“, the movie for which Sam Rockwell finally won his long-overdue Oscar:

3billboards
One Missouri … Two Missouri … Three Missouri …

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Teaser Tuesday 6/16/15: “No Hope For Gomez!”

So this week I’m reading No Sleep Till Brooklyn No Hope For Gomez! by Graham Parke. This is the humorous story of one Gomez Porter, a subject in an experimental drug trial who begins to have strange experiences that he documents on his blog. Hmm, strange experiences documented on a blog? That sounds familiar

Unisex bathroom. Check shoes, sombreros, video games, and automobiles at the door.
Unisex bathroom. Check shoes, sombreros, and automobiles at the door.

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Not A Review Of “Birdman”

So over the last week or so we watched the film “Birdman“, in which Michael Keaton plays a washed-up actor who used to play an avian-themed superhero named Batman Birdman.

Birdman
Not “Batman”. Also not “Jackie Brown”. Also not “The Paper”. Also not …

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