Not A Review Of “The Tailor of Panama”

So this week we watched “The Tailor of Panama“, an adaptation (or maybe distillation) of the John le Carré novel of the same name.

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Not A Review Of “Captain America: Civil War”

So this week, we watched “Captain America: Civil War“, AKA “The One Where Everybody Fights Everybody Else”.

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Hey, Hawkeye.  Never get into a staring contest with a cat.

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Not A Review Of “Spectre”

So last week I saw the most recent James Bond movie, “Spectre”, which means I’m finally caught up on all the Daniel Craig Bond flicks.

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Our Heroes, standing in front of someone who is not Baron Samedi

I think Bond and Dr. Swann may have just finished their rendition of Maxim Kozhevnikov and Yulia Zagoruychenko’s samba routine to “Hip Hip Chin Chin” …

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Who’s That?

So last week we (mostly me) watched “Trouble with the Curve,” in which Clint Eastwood and Amy Adams work through their father/daughter issues, Amy Adams and Justin Timberlake work through their career vs. relationship issues, and some kid fails to work through his curveball-hitting issues.

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“So then I says to him, I says, ‘Do you feel lucky, punk?’ And he did. But he wasn’t.”

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Not A Review Of “Midnight Special”

So this week we started watching the film “Midnight Special“, in which a little boy goes on a fun road trip with his dad and his dad’s friend. Or something like that.

Have I seen you lately?

Have I seen you lately?

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That Never Happened

So this week, as the school year drew to a close and my wife’s classroom prepared to shut down (forever, due to the school’s closure), she was looking for something to occupy the kids during their final days of attendance.  She thought she might show them a movie based on one of the books they read in her classroom every year:  Bridge to Terabithia.  But before showing it to the kids, she thought it would be a good idea to watch it here first, to make sure the filmmakers hadn’t screwed it up.  Because we all know what a bang-up job Hollywood always does on book adaptations, don’t we?

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There’s a reason you never see a movie poster that says “From the producers of ‘Bridge to Terabithia'”

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Not A Review Of “Jurassic World”

So this week we’ve been watching “Jurassic World“, in which things get a little out of hand at the Wild Animal Park Safari Park Jurassic Park Jurassic World theme park, a lovely place which looks like someone put the Safari Park and Sea World together in a tumbler, shook it up, and poured the resulting slurry out into a Hawaiian valley.  The cause of the chaos this time is not a hurricane or corporate espionage, but rather, some overly ambitious genetic engineering combined with generally poor animal husbandry and a door that could maybe have been reinforced a little better. This all leads up to a designersaurus that’s much smarter and more versatile than it should be, which uses its mad skilz to escape its enclosure and go marauding.  Hilarity ensues.  And by “hilarity” I mean “lots of people getting eaten by dinosaurs”.

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Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.*
*Does not apply to Chris Pratt or Bryce Dallas Howard

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