From the “Oh The Holidays Have Gotten So Commercial” department:
From the “Doesn’t This Happen To Everyone?” Department:
From the “I’m Chevy Chase And You’re Not” Department:
When I was a kid we took regular trips to nearby attractions, “nearby” meaning “The Northeast and Atlantic Seaboard”. One of our favorite destinations was Washington, D.C., home of (at the time) very clean subways, some parks, the Smithsonian, and an unusual concentration of memorial sites. Oh also there are a lot of lobbyists there. But when I wrote this letter to my grandmother, I had bigger things on my mind than stuff like that.
One question people like to ask is, why did I start writing horror novels and stories? Maybe it’s because of this:
So this week I reached into my vast collection of rejection letters and pulled out this one, from Schooner Bay Literary Agency:
So this week I reached into my pile of ancient elementary school paperwork and pulled out this one: