So I know I said I took back all the bad things I said about ChatGPT, but I also said that was only going to last until I had accumulated a good number of obviously-AI comments and needed to do a post, and, well, that didn’t take long, did it? Shocker! As usual, these are mostly from the animals’ blog, and the saga of Bean accidentally becoming the owner of Twitter* by peeing on it continues to be the most popular target of AI comments. Gosh, I wonder why that might be … 🤔
So it was four years ago to the day that The Event occurred, in which there were various ways I could’ve died but I somehow managed not to hit any of them. Members of the brain aneurysm group I’m in often refer to this as their “Annieversary” or, occasionally, their “Second Birthday”; I’m going with “Annieversary” since it didn’t involve cake or funny hats. (It did involve noisemakers, though, in the form of machines that whirred and beeped and went “ping”.)
Readers who have been around a while may remember my six-part series about this, which I posted a few months after the fact, and of course I’ve linked back to the first installment any number of times. Since it so happens that this year my weekly posting day falls on my “Annieversary”, I thought I would repost the whole spectacle in its entirety. So, be advised: This will be a long post, because a lot of stuff happened over the course of that three weeks. Oh, and, so as not to stress anyone out about it, here’s a little spoiler for you: I didn’t die. Not even once.
An actual recent conversation at our house, regarding some new food for our kitten, Oona, who continues to have mild gastrointestinal issues (i.e., soft poops):
So those who have been around here for a while may remember that, ever since The Event, I have had dream problems, said problems being that instead of the massively cinematic sorts of dreams I used to have, now, for the most part, I don’t remember my dreams at all, and when I do, they are sooooo boring and mundane I can hardly stand it. One of my most infamous (to me) boring dreams was one where my wife and I were sitting at an outdoor cafe. That’s it, we were just sitting there. We didn’t have food or drinks. And in the dream, I had just decided to order a scone when the owners of the cafe told us we had to leave because we hadn’t ordered anything.
Since I was busy this weekend (when I usually schedule these things) battening down the hatches ahead of Hurricane Hilary*, I thought I would just share what the animals are up to this week:
Lulu: “Okay, I called this meeting because as you may have heard, we are being threatened by Hurricane Hilary … Wait, where’s Charlee?”
It’s time for the next installment of Deliberately Not Using ChatGPT The Way You’re Supposed ToLies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT , and here we go ― we have finally gotten to Trouble the Kitty who spent years on Dennis’s blog, primarily antagonizing (and being antagonized by) the dogs, plotting world domination, making Darth Vader her beeyotch … You know, all the typical stuff cats do. Surely with all that source material to work with, ChatGPT will be able to figure her out, right? Right … ?
Trouble the Kitty was a beloved feline companion of Dennis, as chronicled in his Diary of Destruction. Despite being a different species from Dennis, Trouble was a constant presence in his life and played a significant role in many of his adventures.
At first, Dennis wasn’t quite sure what to make of Trouble, as he was a dog and she was a cat. But over time, the two of them developed a deep bond, and Trouble became one of Dennis’s closest friends.
Trouble was a spunky and adventurous cat, always eager to explore new places and get into mischief. She was a skilled hunter, and she had a particular talent for catching birds and rodents.
Despite their occasional differences, Dennis and Trouble had a deep affection for one another. They would often cuddle up together after a long day of adventuring, and Trouble would often offer Dennis comfort and companionship whenever he was feeling scared or unsure.
Throughout the diary, Trouble is a constant presence, and her antics often provide comic relief to the more intense moments of Dennis’s adventures. She was a loyal and devoted friend to Dennis, and her memory lived on long after she passed away.
In the end, Trouble the Kitty may have been a different species from Dennis, but she was a beloved companion and friend who played an essential role in his life and adventures.
ChatGPT, Makin’ Shit Up Again, But Gettin’ Some Shit Right
Well, so, while it is technically true that Trouble was a constant presence in Dennis’s life for around four years, and that she played a significant role in many of his adventures (often by setting him up for, well, trouble), it is ever so much NOT the case that they would cuddle up together after a long day of adventuring. The ghost of Trouble is scandalized that ChatGPT would even suggest such a thing. Somebody is probably going to be hearing from her attorney. She was also neither spunky nor adventurous, preferring to spend her time sleeping on the back of the sofa, and had zero talent for catching anything, either in real life or on the blog. Most notoriously, many years ago (before she had even become a senior cat), Trouble once just lay there on the floor when a mouse ran by right in front of her ― literally scampering across her paws ― and she couldn’t be bothered even to bat at it.
On the other hand, a couple of things that ChatGPT did finally get right are that, one, Trouble was a female kitty; and two, Trouble did, in fact, pass away relatively early-on in the saga of Dennis’s adventures, leaving for the Rainbow Bridge in 2011 at the ripe old age of 20. So we’ll give this week’s biography a rating of mostly shit that ChatGPT made up, but with slightly less made-up shit than previously.
Tune in next week for ChatGPT’s biography of Tucker the Much Better Vizsla Than Dennis (a title he granted himself on the blog). Hey, original AI, will ChatGPT get anything right about Tucker?
Ask again later?! But I’m writing the blog post now!
So this week it’s time for the next installment of Jim Needs To Produce Filler Material While He Has CompanyLies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT , but before we get to that, I wanted to post another obviously LLM-generated comment that the animals received over on their blog. This follows the previously-established pattern of being clearly related to yet not really understanding the post to which it is attached, followed by asking a question in an attempt to elicit engagement.
“This is a very enjoyable and witty post! I especially liked the part where Aragorn uses his clever word play to distract the children. My question for the author is, what inspired you to incorporate a conversation about small pickles into this scene?”
The post in question does doesn’t actually involve clever wordplay, although it does involve small pickles. So there you go. And once again I am quite sure that the AI Content Analyzer has overrated the human content involved in this comment.
Perhaps previous commenters were right and the AIs are working together … 🤔 But anyway, on to the authorized LLM content! Last week we did Feathers the Rat, and this week we do Pooh Bear, a kitty who, unlike Feathers, actually did overlap with Dennis the Vizsla, but only for a month or so, as she quite unexpectedly developed internal bleeding from an undetected tumor on her spleen that ruptured*, forcing us to make a snap decision to put her to sleep. She therefore did not make very many plot-related appearances in Dennis’s adventures, but she was around more than Feathers. Can ChatGPT get her information right? What do you think?
Pooh Bear the Kitty is a beloved feline character from the popular webcomic “Dennis’s Diary of Destruction,” created by cartoonist Gary Northfield. Although Pooh Bear is a fictional character, he has captured the hearts of readers with his adorable appearance and mischievous antics.
Pooh Bear is a ginger tabby cat with a round face, big eyes, and a fluffy tail. He first appeared in the comic strip on March 12, 2012, when he was introduced as a stray cat that had wandered into the backyard of Dennis, the main character of the comic.
Despite his cute and innocent appearance, Pooh Bear has a mischievous streak that often gets him into trouble. He is known for his love of stealing and hoarding objects, particularly shiny or valuable items. This has led to many hilarious and chaotic situations in the comic, with Pooh Bear causing chaos and confusion wherever he goes.
Despite his naughty behavior, Pooh Bear is a lovable and endearing character that readers can’t help but root for. He is often seen cuddling with Dennis or other characters in the comic, showing that he has a soft side beneath his mischievous exterior.
Over the years, Pooh Bear has become one of the most popular characters in “Dennis’s Diary of Destruction,” with fans clamoring for more stories featuring the mischievous feline. He has even inspired merchandise, including plush toys and t-shirts.
Overall, Pooh Bear the Kitty is a beloved character that has captured the hearts of readers with his adorable appearance and lovable personality. While he may be mischievous, he has a heart of gold and is sure to continue delighting readers for years to come.
ChatGPT, Makin’ Shit Up Again
So in case you couldn’t tell, the answer to the question “Can ChatGPT get her information right on the first try?”** is a resounding “No”. For starters, Pooh Bear is not a ginger tabby cat, she was a grey Persian. Also as you may have noticed from the pronouns I’m bandying about, she was not a he. But boy would it be nice if she had inspired all that merchandising, eh? Get a job, ya four-legged bums!
Tune in next week for the next entry in Lies, Damned Lies, and Anecdotes ChatGPT, in which we finally get to an animal who did appear in numerous adventures with Dennis and the rest of the gang. Will ChatGPT make shit up about her, too? Let’s ask the original AI!
* What is it with ruptures around here, anyway? ** As has been previously noted, if I were to try to get ChatGPT to refine its answers by asking follow-up questions, the results would improve. But what fun would that be?
Look at this, two Teaser Tuesdays back-to-back! Must be because I had a busy week and didn’t have time to take notes on amusing things my wife said about Killing Eve … But anyway, this time, I was reading Speak Easy, by the heavily-overrepresented-in-Teaser-Tuesdays-on-this-blog Catherynne M. Valente:
So this week I thought I would find something in the pile of my elementary school stuff that my folks have shipped out over the years, and I came up with a something which, at first glance, I thought might contain some kind of spooky story about ghosts or woodland spirits, but after actually flipping through it, I would have to call it a (very) early precursor to one of the ridiculous adventures that one might see over at the animals’ blog. That something is my five-page illustrated epic novella, “The Tree”.
It may look like an inexpertly excised stomach, but it isn’t.
Viscosity 