Lies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT: Tucker the (Self-Proclaimed) Much Better Vizsla Than Dennis

This week, we continue our ongoing saga of Making ChatGPT Look Silly By Misusing It Lies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT, with its biography of Tucker the Much Better Vizsla Than Dennis! Tucker, of course, was our first vizsla, and was a very solid little fellow. He was a regular on Dennis’s Diary of Destruction for six years, thus giving ChatGPT even more material to work with than it had when I asked it about Trouble the Kitty. Does that mean it produces more accurate information on its first try? Let’s take a look!

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Lies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT: Trouble the Kitty

It’s time for the next installment of Deliberately Not Using ChatGPT The Way You’re Supposed To Lies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT , and here we go ― we have finally gotten to Trouble the Kitty who spent years on Dennis’s blog, primarily antagonizing (and being antagonized by) the dogs, plotting world domination, making Darth Vader her beeyotch … You know, all the typical stuff cats do. Surely with all that source material to work with, ChatGPT will be able to figure her out, right? Right … ?

Trouble the Kitty was a beloved feline companion of Dennis, as chronicled in his Diary of Destruction. Despite being a different species from Dennis, Trouble was a constant presence in his life and played a significant role in many of his adventures.

At first, Dennis wasn’t quite sure what to make of Trouble, as he was a dog and she was a cat. But over time, the two of them developed a deep bond, and Trouble became one of Dennis’s closest friends.

Trouble was a spunky and adventurous cat, always eager to explore new places and get into mischief. She was a skilled hunter, and she had a particular talent for catching birds and rodents.

Despite their occasional differences, Dennis and Trouble had a deep affection for one another. They would often cuddle up together after a long day of adventuring, and Trouble would often offer Dennis comfort and companionship whenever he was feeling scared or unsure.

Throughout the diary, Trouble is a constant presence, and her antics often provide comic relief to the more intense moments of Dennis’s adventures. She was a loyal and devoted friend to Dennis, and her memory lived on long after she passed away.

In the end, Trouble the Kitty may have been a different species from Dennis, but she was a beloved companion and friend who played an essential role in his life and adventures.

ChatGPT, Makin’ Shit Up Again, But Gettin’ Some Shit Right

Well, so, while it is technically true that Trouble was a constant presence in Dennis’s life for around four years, and that she played a significant role in many of his adventures (often by setting him up for, well, trouble), it is ever so much NOT the case that they would cuddle up together after a long day of adventuring. The ghost of Trouble is scandalized that ChatGPT would even suggest such a thing. Somebody is probably going to be hearing from her attorney. She was also neither spunky nor adventurous, preferring to spend her time sleeping on the back of the sofa, and had zero talent for catching anything, either in real life or on the blog. Most notoriously, many years ago (before she had even become a senior cat), Trouble once just lay there on the floor when a mouse ran by right in front of her ― literally scampering across her paws ― and she couldn’t be bothered even to bat at it.

On the other hand, a couple of things that ChatGPT did finally get right are that, one, Trouble was a female kitty; and two, Trouble did, in fact, pass away relatively early-on in the saga of Dennis’s adventures, leaving for the Rainbow Bridge in 2011 at the ripe old age of 20. So we’ll give this week’s biography a rating of mostly shit that ChatGPT made up, but with slightly less made-up shit than previously.

Tune in next week for ChatGPT’s biography of Tucker the Much Better Vizsla Than Dennis (a title he granted himself on the blog). Hey, original AI, will ChatGPT get anything right about Tucker?

Ask again later?! But I’m writing the blog post now!

Lies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT: Pooh Bear the Kitty

So this week it’s time for the next installment of Jim Needs To Produce Filler Material While He Has Company Lies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT , but before we get to that, I wanted to post another obviously LLM-generated comment that the animals received over on their blog. This follows the previously-established pattern of being clearly related to yet not really understanding the post to which it is attached, followed by asking a question in an attempt to elicit engagement.

“This is a very enjoyable and witty post! I especially liked the part where Aragorn uses his clever word play to distract the children. My question for the author is, what inspired you to incorporate a conversation about small pickles into this scene?”

The post in question does doesn’t actually involve clever wordplay, although it does involve small pickles. So there you go. And once again I am quite sure that the AI Content Analyzer has overrated the human content involved in this comment.

Perhaps previous commenters were right and the AIs are working together … 🤔 But anyway, on to the authorized LLM content! Last week we did Feathers the Rat, and this week we do Pooh Bear, a kitty who, unlike Feathers, actually did overlap with Dennis the Vizsla, but only for a month or so, as she quite unexpectedly developed internal bleeding from an undetected tumor on her spleen that ruptured*, forcing us to make a snap decision to put her to sleep. She therefore did not make very many plot-related appearances in Dennis’s adventures, but she was around more than Feathers. Can ChatGPT get her information right? What do you think?

Pooh Bear the Kitty is a beloved feline character from the popular webcomic “Dennis’s Diary of Destruction,” created by cartoonist Gary Northfield. Although Pooh Bear is a fictional character, he has captured the hearts of readers with his adorable appearance and mischievous antics.

Pooh Bear is a ginger tabby cat with a round face, big eyes, and a fluffy tail. He first appeared in the comic strip on March 12, 2012, when he was introduced as a stray cat that had wandered into the backyard of Dennis, the main character of the comic.

Despite his cute and innocent appearance, Pooh Bear has a mischievous streak that often gets him into trouble. He is known for his love of stealing and hoarding objects, particularly shiny or valuable items. This has led to many hilarious and chaotic situations in the comic, with Pooh Bear causing chaos and confusion wherever he goes.

Despite his naughty behavior, Pooh Bear is a lovable and endearing character that readers can’t help but root for. He is often seen cuddling with Dennis or other characters in the comic, showing that he has a soft side beneath his mischievous exterior.

Over the years, Pooh Bear has become one of the most popular characters in “Dennis’s Diary of Destruction,” with fans clamoring for more stories featuring the mischievous feline. He has even inspired merchandise, including plush toys and t-shirts.

Overall, Pooh Bear the Kitty is a beloved character that has captured the hearts of readers with his adorable appearance and lovable personality. While he may be mischievous, he has a heart of gold and is sure to continue delighting readers for years to come.

ChatGPT, Makin’ Shit Up Again

So in case you couldn’t tell, the answer to the question “Can ChatGPT get her information right on the first try?”** is a resounding “No”. For starters, Pooh Bear is not a ginger tabby cat, she was a grey Persian. Also as you may have noticed from the pronouns I’m bandying about, she was not a he. But boy would it be nice if she had inspired all that merchandising, eh? Get a job, ya four-legged bums!

Tune in next week for the next entry in Lies, Damned Lies, and Anecdotes ChatGPT, in which we finally get to an animal who did appear in numerous adventures with Dennis and the rest of the gang. Will ChatGPT make shit up about her, too? Let’s ask the original AI!

* What is it with ruptures around here, anyway?
** As has been previously noted, if I were to try to get ChatGPT to refine its answers by asking follow-up questions, the results would improve. But what fun would that be?

Lies, Damned Lies, and ChatGPT: Feathers the Rat

So recently I posted a couple of spam comments that appeared to have been written by a large language model (LLM), AKA a chatbot. The comments were written in such a fashion as to indicate that whatever had been aimed at the site had clearly read the posts on which it was commenting, yet equally clearly didn’t understand them. Anyway, after that, I decided it would be fun to take one of the most well-known LLMs, ChatGPT, and ask it to write some biographies. No, not of me―what kind of narcissist do you take me for?* Instead, I asked it to write bios of the much-more-famous-than-I-am critters over at The Oceanside Animals, thus providing me with cheap material for the next several weeks illustrating the strengths and limitations of the LLM. These biographies will be running in the order in which we acquired said animals, starting with Feathers the Rat, who never actually participated in any of the good old mayhem, given that she went to the Rainbow Bridge long before blogs (or, for that matter, Dennis the Vizsla) were a thing. But that doesn’t stop ChatGPT from making shit up about her.

Feathers the Rat is a prominent character in the book “Dennis’s Diary of Destruction” by C.K. Vine. Feathers is a gray rat with beady black eyes and a long, pointy tail. He is known for his cunning and ability to survive in even the harshest of environments.

Feathers first appeared in Dennis’s life when he moved into a new house in the suburbs. Dennis was excited to have a pet, but his parents refused to let him get one. Feeling lonely and bored, Dennis began to explore the house and found Feathers hiding in the basement. Despite initially being afraid of the rat, Dennis quickly became fascinated with Feathers’ intelligence and resourcefulness.

Feathers soon became a regular fixture in Dennis’s life, often sneaking into his bedroom to steal food or play games. Despite Dennis’s best efforts to keep Feathers hidden from his parents, they eventually discovered the rat and demanded that Dennis get rid of him. However, Feathers proved to be too clever for them and managed to evade capture.

As the story progresses, Feathers becomes a key player in Dennis’s various schemes and misadventures. He helps Dennis steal a neighbor’s prized pumpkin, escape from a group of angry birds, and even sabotage a school science fair. Though Feathers can be mischievous and even dangerous at times, he remains a loyal friend to Dennis until the very end.

Feathers’ final fate is left open-ended in the book, with Dennis reflecting on the rat’s ability to survive against all odds. It is suggested that Feathers may have moved on to new adventures or found a new home, but his legacy lives on in Dennis’s memories.

ChatGPT, Makin’ Shit Up

Well. So, yes, Feathers was a rat, but she was a cream-colored rat with a tan hood. She was also not a “he”. Dennis never met her, but ChatGPT thinks he did. Also apparently ChatGPT thinks that Dennis is a human (despite the fact that, when I asked ChatGPT to write a bio of Dennis, it clearly understood that Dennis was a vizsla dog). On the other hand, stealing a prized pumpkin and escaping from angry birds both seem like things Dennis would have done. He might even have sabotaged a school science fair, but probably not intentionally.

Incidentally, I could find no evidence that anyone ever published a book called “Dennis’s Diary of Destruction” (which, I mean, since that’s what the animals’ blog was called for some eleven years until Dennis went to the Rainbow Bridge, I probably would have noticed such a book at some point), nor that there is an actual author named “C.K. Vine”; although I did determine that you get a lot of highly questionable results when you search for that text. So I don’t recommend you do it.

Oh, fine, go ahead and do it. We both know you want to.

* Also, ChatGPT has no idea who the hell I am.

Spamcommentology: Attack of the ChatBots

So a while back I did a series on all the various types of spam comments that turn up on the blog, but since then, I’ve seen a few examples of something new. These are comments that are clearly automated*, yet are also clearly related to** the posts upon which they purport to be commenting. I suspect these comments are coming from the APIs for so-called chatbots, such as ChatGPT***. Let’s take a look!

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That Was The Year That Was (In Books): 2022 Edition

So this year, as it does every year, Goodreads compiled a list of the books I read, making a nice little ― or not so little ― tapestry of covers, along with a few details. You can check out the list at Goodreads here, or look at the screen shots below. The advantage of visiting the list at Goodreads is that you can interactively click on individual books to see their entries; the advantage of viewing the screen shots is you get to go make a nice hot cup of tea while waiting for them all to finish loading. (This year I tried splitting them up into separate ones instead of posting one giant screen shot, though the total amount of bandwidth consumed is, of course, the same.) But before we get to the pictures, let’s review a few notes about this year’s list!

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Another Change of Scene(ry)

So not long ago, I mentioned that I had decided to rework my morning schedule (doesn’t everyone have a morning schedule?) to do writing stuff on the weekends and blogging stuff on the weekdays. That kinda sorta worked, in that I did get some (though not enough) writing done on weekends, and I did manage to (almost) keep up with the blog posting and with the visiting; but overall, it wasn’t really working out all that well, at least for the writing part. What I really needed was for the day to be a little longer. And so I built this device to slow down the Earth’s rotation and … Oh, wait, I’m being told the device is not ready yet. Scratch that. What I actually did was start getting up a half-hour earlier. More coffee, anyone?

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September is National Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month

Hey, look, it’s September, and that means, once again, that it’s Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month!

In much the same way that Thanksgiving and Christmas have become occasions for annual reposts over at the animals’ blog, it seems that one post in September is going to be dedicated to revisiting The Event. This year, rather than just link back to all the original posts (although I’m still doing that too), I thought I would reproduce the first of the Event posts in its entirety, since that’s the one that includes most of the helpful tips about what to look for and what to do (and, uh, what not to do) should aneurysm troubles come your way. Read on for more!

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