The Early Years: You’ll Be Hearing From Magneto’s Attorneys

So this week I decided to dip into my big pile of old papers that aren’t rejection letters, and as it happens, I’m still in the section that’s full of old Villains & Vigilantes NPC character sheets, and there at the top was a fellow will be familiar to anyone who used to participate in those games I ran, or who was writing on “Marvel Mania” at college back in the day: Magneto! Thunderbolt!

While Thunderbolt was primarily known as a lightning-thrower, a close reading of his power set will reveal that he also has some control over magnetism, electricity and magnetism being closely related forces**, as well as the ability to mess with people’s brains by interfering with the electrical transmissions therein. This could be thought of as the “Jim was studying electrical engineering when he invented this guy” effect.

Based merely on that document, it may not be entirely clear all you non-RPG/non-comic-book nerds out there (I’m sure such people exist), but Theodore Garr*, AKA Thunderbolt, was designed as one of those supervillains who can and does take on an entire team singlehandedly, a la Magneto in the X-Men comics; although, unlike Magneto, Thunderbolt hasn’t got much in the way of redeeming qualities.*** This is more than amply demonstrated by his first appearance in the aforementioned “Marvel Mania” shared world writing thread, which would see him going on to become one of the primary threats**** to Our Heroes (a group named CHESS organized by this guy named CHESS, who eventually had his name changed to just “Chess”, because CHESS itself was an acronym for … something; trying to figure out what it was became kind of a running joke later on*****).

Title: DOWNFALL-PART-ONE < 45 lines>
In REPLY to: ISS.44-DEVASTATION
Date: 10-25-1989 at 19:14:22 ( 11)
From: thunderbolt

It began quietly enough. Julia LaClair, secretary, came into work with a new handbag. The refurbished CHESS headquarters in rural Maryland opened its doors to her security card. “Good morning, sir,” she said to CHESS as she settled down to her desk. The intercom only grunted. CHESS was in a bad mood, having somehow lost track of both Bludgeon and Tailspin.

At nine, Miss LaClair went into the bathroom with her purse. She came out without it.

At noon, she went to lunch. She still did not have her purse.

At precisely twelve-fifteen, the device in Julia LaClair’s purse detonated. An electromagnetic pulse of incredible power swept outward from it, plunging CHESS headquarters into darkness. CHESS’s computer exploded. Outside, a small army approached, an army of men clad in yellow armor. They easily penetrated to the main complex, the defenses rendered inoperative. In their shielded armor, the attackers felt nothing from the radiating waves
of energy. CHESS scrambled out of his office as the sounds of battle drew closer. CHESS picked up his secretary’s chair and broke through the glass doors, now rendered inoperative in the power loss. Then a glowing beam struck his chest and he staggered back and fell onto a jagged piece of glass.

---

CHESS awoke to great pain. The world was fuzzy around him and a voice, seeming to come down a long hallway filled with cotton, was speaking. “That was a nasty injury, Mr. CHESS. Luckily for you, I know a thing or two about medical emergencies.”

“Who…” CHESS trailed off. Speaking hurt his chest.

“I realize you have a lot of questions for me,” said the man, “but of course I won’t answer any of them. Suffice it to say that your organization has been closed down. In a manner of speaking.”

“Wha…”

“Hm? Oh, don’t try to speak, Mr. CHESS. That’s a bad thing to do, with your injuries.” Pause. “You should really be ashamed of your security procedures. Why, this makes it twice that my associates have simply waltzed in and trampled you. I would be most upset, were I in your position. Not to fear, though. I want you alive, for reasons which may never be clear to you but which I understand perfectly. You worked for the government; I am about to make them a better offer. One which they will not be able to refuse, because they will not know it is being made.” The man addressed someone else in the room. “Take Mr. CHESS and incarcerate him in the lower cells. If anyone tries to see him, I want to be notified immediately. Understood?”

“Yes, sir! Earth for humanity!” CHESS was wheeled out of the room.

Theodore Garr sat at his desk, a grin as wide as the Pacific imprinted on his face. Things were going very, very well. And this CHESS, whatever his shortcomings, had one hell of a nice desk.

The astute and/or well-versed-in-comic-book-tropes reader may have noticed that one of Thunderbolt’s armored henchmen gave him a snappy “Earth for humanity!” catchphrase before wheeling CHESS Chess down to his (temporary) prison. This is because Theodore Garr, mutant industrialist, is posing as Theodore Garr, human industrialist and anti-mutant activist, and is bankrolling an underground extremist organization called HUMAN (whose backronym was “HUMans against mutANts” or something like that), which fields armored power troopers (or APTs) in operations to round up, imprison, and/or assassinate both notable and non-notable mutants. Naturally these APT suits are of Thunderbolt’s own design and therefore quite weak against his own powers so that, when the Inevitable Betrayal comes, he can take them down easily.

Now, I mentioned earlier that Thunderbolt was, like Magneto, designed to be able to take on an entire superhero team all by himself, which he could do, and often did, e.g., in this example from a later appearance, after the Great Acronym Adjustment:

Thunderbolt wheeled above the battle, peppering the ground with lightning strikes. Geyser, Hardball, and Kinesis had clumped together to defend the more-or-less helpless Chess and Pawlosky; Chess knelt behind them, Blackflame’s head cradled in his arms. The young mutant’s breath was ragged and shallow. Seeing them all together, Theodore Garr hurled a megablast of electricity at them. Geyser threw up an ice shield, but the strike shattered it to pieces and knocked them all through the air. Hardball landed heavily on his head and crumpled, motionless, one hand resting on a chunk of frozen water.

“This guy’s a dick,” muttered Geyser. He tried to pull the water out of Thunderbolt’s body, but his electroshield blocked the attempt. All Garr did was sweat a bit.

“Swat him out of the sky!” hissed Chess. Kinesis nodded and directed his power at Thunderbolt, driving him into the ground. The dirt erupted as he hit like a meteor.

“Got him!” yelled Kinesis.

Suddenly Thunderbolt’s head popped out of the crater. “Yep, ya sure showed me!” he chirped, firing a lightning blast at the mutant. Kinesis dodged to the side but the bolt hit him in the leg, spinning him around wildly.

Cyberhawk leveled his weapons at Thunderbolt. “Matey, you’re about to regret that you’re going to build me in the future,” he growled.

“Oh?” Thunderbolt shut down the electron flow within Cyberhawk’s chassis, and the cyborg simply shut down like a big metal statue. “Remind me to make you smarter when I build you.”

Chess groaned. This was going like a typical fight with Thunderbolt went.

However, like any good supervillain, Thunderbolt also had himself a team of lackeys for when he was busy getting pizza or whatever. Of course, they also helped him do things like conquer the world, which happened so much later in Thunderoblt’s Marvel Mania run that they had replaced the university’s mainframe (hence the different format):

===============================================
Note 13.3 Issue 62 Inter-Galactic, Dimensional Time Travel 3 of 20
SPOTVB::VISCOS78 “The Marvel Bullpen” 40 lines 12-DEC-1990 15:12

-< Cyberhawk Runs; Thunderbolt Flies >-

In the woods near McDonald’s home, Cyberhawk paused and looked back. Someone had switched on the lights; switching to his high-powered lenses, he saw people moving about within the house. They had evidently discovered the dead man’s body, because they looked quite agitated. “Bloody marvelous,” he complained. “What in Churchill’s name is going on around here?” McDonald had claimed to be a spirit, sent to occupy a body whose soul had been stolen by a banshee; and he had certainly hit harder than any human should have been able to. Perhaps the man was a mutant? Or, worse, perhaps he was telling the truth.

As Jasper moved off through the trees, he considered what had been happening. Suppose McDonald HAD been telling the truth; why would he blow his cover, as it were, in order to attack Cyberhawk? The only conclusion he could reach (other than that McDonald was irretrievably stupid) was that Sean was somehow involved with this banshee thing as well.

“You’re the detective,” he told himself. “What the hell do you do now?”

---

Thunderbolt’s small, saucer-shaped spacecraft hummed smartly in the corner of the complex. He had been working on it, off and on, for quite some time, just in case he ever needed transportation into orbit. Now he needed it, and he was ready to go. So were his employees.

“Slash and Executioner, you two will remain here, along with Hellspawn. The Slayers and the good doctor will be coming with me. We shall be shuttling back and forth frequently, I assume, especially once I’ve conquered the world. Okay? Good. Everyone take your dramamine — if you get sick, I’m sending you out the airlock.”

“Teddy,” said Portal, “why don’t I just teleport us to the space station?”

Thunderbolt gawked at the mutant for a moment, then looked at his lovely spaceship. It was a model of engineering; it even said “DIE EARTHLING SCUM” in big neon letters. “Because I want to use my toy, that’s why,” he said.

“But it would be easier if –“

“Easier? Is that all you think about? What about style? What about panache? We’re going in this spaceship and we’re going now. So shut up and get aboard!”

“Yessir,” said Portal. What a fruitcake, he thought.

|| You said it. || sent Menta as they boarded.

Probably not surprisingly, Thunderbolt actually did conquer the world that time, because as everyone knows, you can’t stop phase one.

===============================================
Note 14.5 Issue 63 -> Team Warfare, and Team Betrayals 5 of 20
SPOTVB::VISCOS78 “Thunderbolt” 55 lines 16-DEC-1990 19:36

-< In Space, No One Can Hear Bugs Bunny >-

Thunderbolt sat in his communications center and sniggered. He could only imagine what sort of chaos he had reduced the planet to, now that he controlled all forms of satellite communication. He thought for a moment, smiled, and picked up a transmitter. “Attention, world,” he said, “the planet will be destroyed in three seconds. Three, two, one, boom! Ha ha, just kidding.”

Theodore kicked back and put his feet up. Life was grand.

The communicator started beeping. Thunderbolt looked at it, annoyed, then picked it up. “Whaddya want?” he demanded.

“Sir, this is Nelson.” Thunderbolt nodded; Nelson was his secretary at Dichon. Something must be up.

“Great,” he said. “This is Nelson. What does Nelson have to say?”

“Well, there was recently a rather destructive fracas at one Phayze Mansion … your operative Slash was … um, injured.”

“Injured? Be more specific.”

“Well, we have his foot …” Nelson trailed off.

“His FOOT?! Where’s the rest of him?”

“Evidently, it was, um, vaporized. We found the foot by homing in on its genetic structure. It was in a …”

“A WHAT?”

“… dumpster,” finished Nelson lamely.

“I see.” Pause. “Blaster did this?”

“We believe so, yes.”

Great, thought Thunderbolt. Another pain in the ass. Like Bludgeon, Tailspin, and Reaper weren’t enough. “Well, he’ll get his, after I’ve taken over the world … don’t worry about Slash, he’ll get better.”

“Uh, all right. Another thing: Senator Cramden has been trying to reach Lightning Force for some time. He wants them to stop you.”

“Really? They all know it’s me who has done this?” Thunderbolt beamed. “But of course they do. Who else would have the brains, the power, the panache …”

“… and the little lightning bolt. Yes, sir. Anyway, he’s on line three. Should I patch him through to you?”

“Yes, all right … hold on, let me fetch Lightning Force’s esteemed leader. MENTA!!!!!” Shortly, the telepath arrived.

“I hate it up here,” she complained. “The toilets suck, the bedrooms suck, the –“

“Shut up. You have a call from Cramden. He wants L.F. to take me out. You know what to tell him.”

“Yeah. Give me the phone.” As Thunderbolt handed her the transceiver, he acidly informed her that it wasn’t a phone. “Whatever you say,” she replied. Then, into the communicator: “Hello, Senator Cramden. Yes, we’re aware of the situation, and we’re trying to locate him … he’s elusive, though, hard to pick up telepathically or electronically. Of course, as soon as we find him, we’ll clean his clock. Yes, sir. For America. Absolutely. Goodbye.” She gave the unit back to Thunderbolt. “The man is a toad.”

“Yes, but he’s our toad. Run along, now, and tell Portal to get ready for a jaunt. You and the rest of Lightning Force are going down to put on a show. You see, in their embittered state, the members of CHESS threw in with that arch-villain Thunderbolt … and you’re going to stop them.” Menta looked at him oddly, then started to leave. Thunderbolt yelled after her, “They’re robotic duplicates of CHESS … try to make sure they don’t beat you!”

The character sheets for the Slayers (Menta, Portal, etc.) were all in a pile underneath his character sheet, although, for some reason, their sheets were printed out from a computer*******. So stay tuned next week for the first set of character sheets from supervillain team The Slayers, who were totally not a takeoff of the Marauders or anything.

* Possibly the late, great Teri Garr’s ne’er-do-well cousin?
** Hence “electromagnetism”.
*** You’re never going to see Thunderbolt take over the leadership of a school for heroic mutants, for example.
**** With the occasional detour for cosmic-level threats such as Malefarr.
***** My personal favorite backronym for CHESS was “Committee Handling Extremely Secret Stuff”, and not just because I came up with it.
****** This is an example of Thunderbolt’s having used the memory-wiping power from his character sheet. Foreshadowing!
******* Dot matrix, no less!