Not A Review Of “Spectre”

So last week I saw the most recent James Bond movie, “Spectre”, which means I’m finally caught up on all the Daniel Craig Bond flicks.

spectre
Our Heroes, standing in front of someone who is not Baron Samedi

I think Bond and Dr. Swann may have just finished their rendition of Maxim Kozhevnikov and Yulia Zagoruychenko’s samba routine to “Hip Hip Chin Chin” …

thebeat

Continue reading “Not A Review Of “Spectre””

Not A Review Of “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”

So the other week we I watched “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter“.

Me: <shows NetFlix envelope to wife>
Wife: “What’s that?”
Me:  “‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’.”
Wife: “Uh-huh.”

Later:

Me:  <loading disc into player>
Wife: “What’s this?”
Me:  “‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’.”
Wife: “You were serious about that?”

Sadly, yes. Yes I was was.

alvh
Nice hat.

Continue reading “Not A Review Of “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter””

Teaser Tuesday 6/28/2016: “The Girl with All the Gifts”

So this week I’m reading The Girl with All the Gifts, by M.R. Carey, a post-apocalyptic zombie “hungries” novel in which society has been laid waste by a mutated (possibly weaponized) form of Ophiocordyceps.  Perhaps it takes place on the same devastated earth as “The Last of Us” …

TheGirlWithAllTheGifts
I love you thiiiiissss much.

Continue reading “Teaser Tuesday 6/28/2016: “The Girl with All the Gifts””

Not A Review Of “Jurassic World”

So this week we’ve been watching “Jurassic World“, in which things get a little out of hand at the Wild Animal Park Safari Park Jurassic Park Jurassic World theme park, a lovely place which looks like someone put the Safari Park and Sea World together in a tumbler, shook it up, and poured the resulting slurry out into a Hawaiian valley.  The cause of the chaos this time is not a hurricane or corporate espionage, but rather, some overly ambitious genetic engineering combined with generally poor animal husbandry and a door that could maybe have been reinforced a little better. This all leads up to a designersaurus that’s much smarter and more versatile than it should be, which uses its mad skilz to escape its enclosure and go marauding.  Hilarity ensues.  And by “hilarity” I mean “lots of people getting eaten by dinosaurs”.

jurassic_world_gate
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.*
*Does not apply to Chris Pratt or Bryce Dallas Howard

Continue reading “Not A Review Of “Jurassic World””

Not A Review Of “Birdman”

So over the last week or so we watched the film “Birdman“, in which Michael Keaton plays a washed-up actor who used to play an avian-themed superhero named Batman Birdman.

Birdman
Not “Batman”. Also not “Jackie Brown”. Also not “The Paper”. Also not …

Continue reading “Not A Review Of “Birdman””