The first one or two times I make editing passes on a book, scenes tend to get longer. This is because I’ve found that if I keep going back and fleshing out earlier scenes as I think of more stuff, the book never gets finished. Here is an example, from a scene that introduces a character new to the story in part two of Shards: Brennendah, a scientifically-minded Rittandic whose job is to study the Æther, also known as the void, which is gradually consuming the region where the Rittandics live. (This loss of territory, known as the Unraveling, is what gives the territory—the Ravels—its name.) Here is the original paragraph, followed by the revised version:
As promised, here is the last (for now) post-Shards-cliffhanger excerpt from The War of the Ravels. In this scene from very early in the book, we discover why, exactly, the villainous sorcerer Kihantroh has been trying so hard to get hold of the gems. As before, beware — spoilers lie ahead! But, of course, spoilers are what you came for, so read on.