So this week I beseeched the Gods of Randomness to tell me what to pull out of my vast trove of rejection letters, and they told me, Lo! Thou must pick the sixth item in the folder for the letter M! So that’s what I did. But it’s not a rejection letter. It’s not even a form letter. It is, essentially, a brochure—an unsolicited submission, if you will—from the Scott Meredith Literary Agency:
The interesting thing here is that this is from so long ago, I apparently still had my name out there as “Jim Viscosi” rather than the ever-so-much-more-literary (or, as one disgruntled loser of a flash-fiction contest in which the prize was having a character named after you in a J.A. Konrath book* once claimed, only-won-the-contest-because-he-has-a-good-name-for-a-villain) “James V. Viscosi”. This was when we were living in Whitesboro, in upstate New York, where I had my little desk set up in the little space at the end of a U-turn hallway of our little basically two-room (three, if you count the bathroom) apartment, and tapped out my stories and books on a DOS computer running PC-Write. Yeah, those were the days.
Oh, wait, what was that? You would like to read more of the brochure? I can accommodate you!
Oh, and there’s also an insert!
Anyway, a shuffle through the remainder of the items in the “M” pocket of my rejection letter file folder indicates that I never actually submitted anything to the Scott Meredith Literary Agency, or, if I did, they never responded. Because if I had, and they had, it would definitely still be in there.
I mean, after all, I kept this …
* Incidentally, I did buy the book in question, and didn’t see a character named after me in it anywhere. Meddling from the legal department, perhaps.