Dumbledore’s Gay

In a recent appearance at Carnegie Hall, J.K. Rowling answered a question about Dumbledore by revealing that he was gay. Given the themes of tolerance and diversity present throughout the books, it’s not surprising that such a major figure should turn out to be homosexual, even if it wasn’t spelled out in the series. (I certainly didn’t pick up on it, and there seems to be some disappointment among activists that it wasn’t made clear in the books.)

Some have suggested that we can now look forward to a new series featuring Dumbledore’s earlier adventures in stereotypical “gay” situations. If that’s the case, I’d like to propose a few titles for Ms. Rowling’s consideration:

  • “Dumbledore and the Tastefully Decorated Studio Apartment”
  • “Dumbledore and the Fruity Drink With An Umbrella In It”
  • “Dumbledore and the Key West Vacation”
  • “Dumbledore and the Small Yappy Dog”
  • “Dumbledore and the Wardrobe Where Everything Matches”

And, of course:

  • “Dumbledore and the Big Magic Wand”

Those who despise the Potter books for “promoting witchcraft” aren’t going to like them any better now, are they? Perhaps they will be so flummoxed by this development that they won’t be able to decide which aspect to protest, the alleged occultism or Dumbledore’s orientation. Anyway, if any such people happen to see this, may I suggest reading His Dark Materials? That’ll really make your heads explode.

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