That Pedestrian On The Corner Might Not Be A Pedestrian

So one or two weekends ago, one of my cousins and her nine-year-old daughter came down to visit our puppy. I mean visit us.

Anyway, partway through the day we decamped for a visit to the nearby harbor, which is usually crowded on summer weekends, what with it being, you know, next to the ocean and the beach. Tourists as well as locals abound there this time of year. While we were noodling through the parking lot looking for a space, I noticed a person standing expectantly on the corner of a sidewalk, watching traffic. Figuring he was waiting to cross, I stopped and waved him to come on. He perked up and gave a little wave. Figuring he was saying “thank you” (despite the fact that pedestrians almost always have the right of way at crosswalks, corners, and in parking lots, plenty of people just drive right by in front of them), I gave him a wave back. So then he started across the street … and came over to the car, opened the back seat, and began to climb in next to my cousin’s nine-year-old and my notoriously gigantic hat.

Confused consternation ensued from the vicinity of my cousin’s seat next to me, but then the alleged pedestrian said one word that cleared everything up immediately. At least for me.

He said: “Uber?”

So I explained that no, sorry, I wasn’t his Uber ride. I just thought he wanted to cross the street and was trying to be nice follow the law that says pedestrians get to go first. No harm done — the fellow thanked us and returned to his corner to await his real ride. And I spent the next few minutes explaining to my cousin what “Uber” is, why that strange man tried to get in the car and sit next to her little girl, and why my hat narrowly escaped getting sat on. Sorry hat.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, perhaps, the answer to an age-old question. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she thought her Uber ride was waiting on the other side.