Not A Review Of “Ant-Man”

So recently we watched “Ant-Man“, in which Jack Colton gives Phoebe’s boyfriend/(spoiler alert)husband Mike a suit that allows him to shrink down to the size of an insect, while Kate glowers disapprovingly.  Hilarity ensues.

My eyes are up here.

Now, I didn’t tell my wife what this movie was about, and may not have even told her what it was called, and as a result she didn’t actually realize what sort of movie it was for a while.  Although she did notice that Michael Douglas looked a little different in the opening scene.

Wife: “He looks young.”

Me: “Yeah, I think they digitally de-aged him.”

Wife: “Why would they do that?”

Me: “Because this scene is set 25 years earlier than the rest of the movie, I think.”

They actually did a pretty remarkable job of making Michael Douglas look like his younger self, although his eyes looked a little funny.  Kind of uncanny valley shark eyes.  Brrr.

Me: “He looks almost like he did in ‘Romancing the Stone’.”

Wife: <blank look>

Me: “With Kathleen Turner?  In South America?”

Wife: <blank look>

Me: “They’re looking for an emerald?”

Wife: “Sounds vaguely familiar.”

Once the prologue was out of the way, and the movie got Back to the Future, Michael Douglas reverted to his present appearance.  More or less.

Wife: “Now they’re making him look older on purpose.”

Me: “I think that’s how he looks now.”

Wife: “Noooo.  His hair isn’t that white, is it?”

Well …

Michael Douglas … 'It's much more fun to be bad'

But of course, Michael Douglas is not the star of this movie; Paul Rudd is.  My wife doesn’t really know who Paul Rudd is, but we’ve seen him in enough comedies that I think his presence in this film caused her to believe that it, too, was a comedy — which it sort of was, for a while.

Then the magic jammies showed up.

Wife: “What kind of movie is this?”

Me: “… A super-hero one.”

The astute reader will recall that my wife is not particularly interested in super-heroes, unless they’re named Jessica Jones or Robert Downey Jr. Tony Stark, and even then she’s not really convinced Tony Stark is (spoiler alert) Iron Man.  Still, she watched about 40 minutes of “Ant-Man” before falling asleep, which is pretty good for a Marvel film.  On the other hand, that was the end of her involvement with the film.

Wife: “Finish watching it and tell me how it ends.”

Well, the way it ends is―


Oh, sorry.  Never mind then.

One thought on “Not A Review Of “Ant-Man”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.