Teaser Tuesday: “Theory of Bastards”

So this week I was reading Theory of Bastards, by Audrey Schulman, AKA Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Bonobo Sex But Were Afraid To Ask.

Ooh, it’s a green-eyed monster!

The basic premise of Theory of Bastards is that Frankie, a young researcher, takes a position at a sanctuary for great apes, in order to study the mating behavior of bonobos, which can be characterized as “anything that moves and some things that don’t”.

He said to her, Dr. Burk, I’m now going to talk a lot, so maybe I can answer your questions before you feel the need to ask them. To answer your earlier question, he’d have relations with anyone and anything, including this desk, if he got bored.

Audrey Schulman, Theory of Bastards

That quote is in reference to a male bonobo named Goliath. Another major bonobo character is Mama, who, for reasons that haven’t yet been explained, is missing most of her hair. No word if Mama would have relations with a desk, but she does like a nice cup of joe in the morning.

The keeper gave the cup of coffee to Mama, then closed the door and left the room. Mama sat down and took a slurp, her eyes closed. Concentrating on her coffee, bald and grey and scrawny, she resembled a female Gollum, ready to mutter about her precious ring.

Audrey Schulman, Theory of Bastards

Ring of Power. Cup of coffee. Po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to.

Meanwhile, speaking of things that are assisted by coffee, work continues on Blue Roses. I’m still not entirely sure where I’m going with it, but I think something is starting to coalesce. I still have about 75,000 words to get to 125,000, which is a typical minimum length for one of my books, so there’s plenty of time yet for things to shake out.

“You’re doing this somehow, aren’t you? You make people stupid and suggestible so that they do the things you want.”

“People hardly need my help to be stupid and suggestible,” the gardener said.

James V. Viscosi, Blue Roses

Hmm, seems like the Internet can help with that, too …

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.