And Then Sometimes The Subtitle Mistakes Are Strangely Appropriate

So as I’ve mentioned numerous times, we got in the habit of leaving subtitles on a long time ago, when Dennis became an Old Man Dog and would frequently complain to us that we should stop watching television because he wanted to go to bed; and thus we were introduced to the world of subtitles that are amusing in their own right, humorously inaccurate, or in open rebellion against what the actual dialog is. But this may be the first time we’ve run into subtitles that are humorously inaccurate yet also completely appropriate, and it comes from (you guessed it) the TV show House.

Now, first, a little backstory: In this episode, House takes on as a patient a 15-year-old girl with a form of dwarfism who is suffering from what everyone thinks is liver failure. He correctly predicts that the condition is progressive and that her pancreas is about to fail, but no one listens to him (because reasons), so they proceed with a liver biopsy, or something. Or at least, they attempt to. Before they can even sedate her, the girl slips into unconsciousness as a result of some manner of insulin shock, and the team calls for an emergency insulin drip to save her. OR DO THEY?

Yes, instead of an insulin drip, the subtitles tell us the patient will be getting an insult drip. And, well, if you’ve seen any episodes of House at all, you know that the insults are going to be dripping a little faster than one milligram per kilogram per hour. Maybe if you reversed those units of measure, you’d be on track …