So What Do You Want To Watch Now?

As the reader who’s been around for any length of time knows, we are currently in the middle of watching the old medical show House. However, we usually like to have two shows that we’re watching, a “light” one and a “heavy” one. Despite (or perhaps because of) all the sarcasm, insults, and medical stuff that involves my covering my eyes and shrieking, House is our “light” show, not our “heavy” one. The “heavy” slot has, of late, been occupied by limited series, such as House of the Dragon and, more recently, the final season of His Dark Materials, and now we are, sadly, without a show to offset the routine levity of lumbar punctures, catheters, bleeding orifices, and people saying “Maybe it’s vasculitis” that is House; and so, new shows are currently being auditioned.

At the moment, we’ve got three candidates on deck. Well okay maybe two candidates and one non-candidate candidate. First up, we have the new HBO series The Last of Us, an adaptation of a video game that I played some years ago that involves … wait for it … zombies!

Me: “They’re not really zombies. See, they’re actually still alive, but they’re infected with a variety of the cordyceps fungus …”
Wife: “Great, it’s The Walking Fungus.”

By the time the first episode of The Walking Fungus actually arrived, my wife had since heard some things about it. And by “things” I mean “people on the Internet complaining”.

Wife: “Is this that show where everyone is mad about the girl?”
Me: “What girl?”
Wife: “Where they don’t like the girl from Game of Thrones being cast in it?”
Me: “You mean Bella Ramsey? The girl playing Ellie? People on the Internet are mad about that? Why?* She was good in Game of Thrones.”
Wife: “I don’t know. But they are.“
Me: “I mean, in the game, Ellie looked an awful lot like Ellen Page, but it’s not like they could get Ellen Page to play her at this point. For one thing, he’s too old, and for another thing, he’s Elliot Page now.”

Anyway, we did watch The Walking Fungus, and my wife did pay attention. For a while, until she came to the following conclusion:

Wife: “This show looks too much like a video game.”

Shot by shot comparisons suggest that the show does, indeed, look very much like the video game:

Apparently I’ll be watching The Last of Us after my wife falls asleep. (And, for the record, both Bella Ramsey and Pedro Pascal—who, apparently, had also gotten people on the Internet riled up, because they “didn’t think he could grow Joel’s iconic beard”**—were just fine.)

Another contender is Mayfair Witches on AMC+:

Me: “I didn’t read the book this is based on, but it’s got witches in it. You like witches.”
Wife (not really paying attention): “Uh-huh.”

And the third and final show currently on the table is Slow Horses on Apple TV+:

Me: “Hey you remember The Professional?”
Wife: “Yes, that was the one where the hitman was protecting the little girl.”
Me: “That old guy behind the desk was the bad guy in The Professional.”***
Wife: (quite clearly could not possibly care less)

The Walking Fungus not having made the cut, that left us with two options.

Me: “All right, I know you don’t want to watch fungus zombies. Would you rather watch witches instead, or the spies who go through people’s trash?”
Wife (considers for a moment): “Let’s try the spies who go through people’s trash.”

So we started watching Slow Horses. My wife soon noticed something about it.

Wife: “Is this a British show?”
Me: “Well, they all work for MI5 and have accents, so, yes.”
Wife: “I could tell because they all look like normal people. If this were an American show everyone would have to be unusually attractive.”****

It’s true, the cast of Slow Horses is, for the most part, composed of normal-looking people. Oh, and also Olivia Cooke.

Me: “Hey, it’s Olivia Cooke! Do you recognize her? She plays grown-up Alicent in House of the Dragon.”
Wife: (still quite clearly could not care less)

One other good thing about Slow Horses: The theme song, by Mick Jagger, is one heck of a foxtrot:

So whatever else happens with this show, at least we got a good song for dancing to out of it.

* Because people on the Internet get mad about everything, that’s why.
** Oh for fuck’s sake.
*** I know, I know, he was also Sirius Black, and Dracula, and Commissioner Gordon, etc. etc. etc. So sue me.
**** Wife (watching House): “Is that a negligee? Cuddy would never wear something like that to work in real life.”