So this week we finally got around to watching “Three Billboards Outside Ebbings, Missouri“, the movie for which Sam Rockwell finally won his long-overdue Oscar:
Most of the readers of this blog are probably aware of my other, much-more-popular-than-this-one blog, Dennis’s Diary of Destruction, which features the antics and adventures of three dogs, an evil cat, ninja hedgehogs, a sarcastic field mouse, a stoner ex-DEA drug-sniffing dog, and various other bit players. When I discovered that Dragon Stones had hit the best-seller list on the Amazon.co.uk Kindle store, I put Dennis’s blog on hiatus so I could concentrate on finishing my next fantasy novel (which is not a sequel to Dragon Stones — but, due to popular demand, such a sequel will be coming eventually). This decision produced much sadness amongst Dennis’s nice readers. Fortunately, one of them, Mango Relentlessly Huge, has most thoughtfully provided an ending to my book so that I can get back to Dennis’s Diary that much faster. So here, for your reading pleasure, is the final chapter of my next novel, as written by Mango the mastiff. Enjoy!
So I finally got around to seeing “Zombieland”, in which Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg do battle with hordes of undead as well as Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin (in a road trip only marginally less strange than the one she took in “Little Miss Sunshine”). As you probably know from the trailers, Woody and Jesse have much more success against the zombies than against the girls.
No random rejections, reviews, or scans of early childhood scribblings this week — it’s the last day of my vacation! But rather than let Sunday go home empty-handed from Scribblings, here’s a randomly selected short story from the unpublished archives. Any resemblance to Night at the Museum is purely coincidental, as this story predates it by many years; any resemblance to the “Zuni Fetish Doll” episode of the old Trilogy of Terror television movie, on the other hand, is less coincidental, although I play the scenario more for comedy than for horror.
One interesting thing about this story is its reliance on the Internet for a few plot points, making it probably one of the first stories I wrote that did so. Another issue that befell this story is that, as I used to do with all my books and stories, it was originally stored in Microsoft Binder format — a format that has since been abandoned. Although there is an extractor that is supposed to be able to pull the contents of a Binder file out into their component files, it didn’t work all that well on this file, and I was forced to reconstruct it by looking at the binary (gibberish-filled) Binder file itself, and piece the story together that way. I think I got all of it, but I’m not completely sure (although I do know that the ending that’s there is original and complete). The moral of this story is to be wary of weird minor proprietary file formats, or else to make sure you always keep (and can run) a copy of the original software that created the files.
And now for our feature presentation, “The Patter of Little Feet”!