Not A Review Of “Event Horizon”

So October seems to have been my month for getting caught up on movies I should have seen long ago, but didn’t.  A few weeks ago, it was 1997’s “Contact“; and on Halloween, I finally got around to seeing the cult SF/horror film “Event Horizon“, also from 1997.

“Event Horizon” has been in my queue forever, so why did I finally bump it to the top of the list and watch it?  A couple of reasons:

1. “Trick R Treat” isn’t on Netflix streaming anymore; but
2. A recent issue of “Entertainment Weekly” asked  a number of horror movie directors for scary movies to watch on Halloween, and two of them said “Event Horizon”, which was the only film to be mentioned by more than one of those polled; and
3. It was Halloween; which meant that
4. Dennis would be taking shelter from trick-or-treaters in the back of the house, along with my wife, to protect him; therefore
5. I could watch “Event Horizon” without subjecting my wife to it.

Me: “You probably shouldn’t watch this.”
Wife: “Yeah, I can tell that already.”

Now, because my wife didn’t watch “Event Horizon”, I can’t apply the usual “How long did it take for this movie to put my wife to sleep?” method of rating it.  But I’m pretty sure it would have put her to sleep, or at least driven her out of the room, pretty much immediately — or at least, after the first scene, which introduced us to Sam Neill’s character, Dr. Weir.  This scene raised a very important question that the movie never answered:  Who was looking after Dr. Weir’s vizsla while he was off gallivanting around Neptune?

At least he didn’t drag the vizsla into space with him.  When vizslas go into space, things never work out quite right.  Umm, not that things worked out quite right in “Event Horizon”, either, but you know what I mean.  Anyway, if you’re going to take an animal onto a spaceship with you, you’re probably better off bringing a cat.