So I haven’t done a “not a review” in a while, in which I rate movies based on how long they take to put my wife to sleep, simply because we haven’t watched anything lately that she’s paid much attention to or made any amusing observations about. But that doesn’t mean she hasn’t uttered a tasty tidbit or two over the last couple of months. I’ve just been noting them down and waiting until I had enough of them for a post, because, you know, it’s not easy padding these posts to 30 minutes three or four paragraphs.
So first we have this sketch, from Stephen Colbert’s Late Night show, featuring Colbert and Patrick Stewart waiting for Godot. Or something.
When, at the end of the sketch (spoiler alert!), Patrick Stewart has himself and Colbert beamed up to the Enterprise, my wife looked a little bit puzzled.
Me: “It’s because that was Jean-Luc Picard.”
Wife: “Oh.” (pause) “Isn’t he supposed to have pointy ears?”
Me: “That was Spock.”
Next, there was the time I played the trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 for her, mainly because of the song they use, but also because she sort of kind of liked the first one a little.
Me: “You recognize the song, right?”
Wife: “Of course. That’s Fleetwood Mac. Didn’t we already see this movie?”
Me: “We saw the first one. This is the second one. Why, do you recognize the characters?”
Wife: “I recognize the raccoon.”
And that’s why you never work with kids or animals.
Finally, the other day, while cooking dinner, I was listening to a MacBreak Weekly podcast called “Pepper Potts and the Invisible Woman”. (Yes, I listen to technology podcasts while cooking, cleaning, mowing the lawn, weed whacking, etc. etc. etc., because nerd. Surprise!)
Anyway my wife happened to wander by right when they were announcing the title of the podcast, and something along the lines of the following conversation ensued:
Wife: “Pepper Potts? What is this, a podcast about Tony Stark?”
Me (looks at wife in astonishment): “Oh my God.”
Wife: “See? I remember some stuff.”
Me: “Well, speaking of Tony Stark, he’s going to be in the new Spider-Man movie.”
Wife: “Oh, who is he playing?”
Me (beat): “Iron Man.”
So there you go — all you have to do for my wife to remember who you are in a super-hero is be Tony Stark, his significant other, or a raccoon. Tough luck, Hawkeye!
Viscosity 