Not A Review Of “Spectre”

So last week I saw the most recent James Bond movie, “Spectre”, which means I’m finally caught up on all the Daniel Craig Bond flicks.

spectre

Our Heroes, standing in front of someone who is not Baron Samedi

I think Bond and Dr. Swann may have just finished their rendition of Maxim Kozhevnikov and Yulia Zagoruychenko’s samba routine to “Hip Hip Chin Chin” …

thebeat

Anyway, those who are familiar with the non-rating system I use — that is, how long it takes a movie to put my wife to sleep — will not be surprised that this one put her to sleep almost immediately.  In fact, she only paid attention to it once:

Wife (looks up):  “James Bond?”
Me: “Yes!  I’m impressed.  You must remember it from when Pierce Brosnan* used to play him.”
Wife (shrugs):  “It’s always the same music.”

Which is pretty much true.  After that, she didn’t pay attention to it anymore.  Which was just as well; it was a decent entry in the Bond series, but not up to the level of “Skyfall“.  Of course, what with “Skyfall” being the best Bond movie since (I would say) “Goldeneye“, it had a lot to live up to; the Honest Trailer encapsulates most of the issues I had with it, and a few that I didn’t.

They’re not wrong; that business with Bond and Monica Bellucci was a little creepy.  Fortunately it was over in like five minutes, and then we had the whole rest of the movie to pretend it didn’t happen …


*My wife was a James Bond fan from 1995 to 2002. The astute historian of Bond films will note that the time frame roughly coincides with Pierce Brosnan’s tenure as Bond. This is not a coincidence.

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