Not A Review Of “The Milagro Beanfield War”

So being one of those curmudgeonly holdout types who still receives discs in the mail from Netflix (or Qwikster or or whatever it is these days) means that not only does my wife get to fall asleep during the latest blockbusters, but also during weird indie movies and older movies that I never got around to watching back in the day. For instance, this one:


This Redford kid may have a future in directing.


Given the time period in which it was produced, this film is, of course, chockablock with familiar faces from the 80s, including John Heard, Sonia Braga, Daniel Stern, Ruben Blades, and Melanie Griffith. The astute reader will notice that Tony Stark is not on that list, which means that my wife recognized none of them. Except for this guy:


Me: “Do you know who that is?”
Wife: “He looks very familiar.”
Me: “That’s Christopher Walken.”
Wife: “Oh. Is he gonna dance for us?”

Sadly, Mr. Walken did not dance for us in The Milagro Beanfield War. However, that doesn’t mean he won’t dance for us now.

Dance, cowboy, dance!

The Milagro Beanfield War put my wife to sleep in about 30 minutes, then proceeded to put her to sleep in blocks of 45 minutes or so until we got through it. I think she was mostly interested in the scenery of New Mexico, but she also really liked the pig.


One thought on “Not A Review Of “The Milagro Beanfield War”

  1. this moovy review is just about like what I might put to paper (or screen) if I wuzz to review a movie. I did read “the miraculous journey” recently (or some title like that) by same author as “milagro”. riveting, well, at least I thought so, like living some kind of parallel live(s) whilst immersed in the book. i’m a few lifetimes passsed that now. I axually’ watched the movie (didn’t read the book) soon after it came out. seein’ as how I yoosta frequent (visited a couple times more than “occasionally”) that area of NM, I felt I could eye-denti-fy. ‘miraculous journey’ is kinda like ‘milagro’ on steroids. wonder why “they” haven’t movie-fied THAT already? rambulled enuff 4 now, chekya layter …


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