One Last Non-Review Of “Battlestar Galactica”


So last week, we arrived at the end of the Colonial Fleet’s long, long journey in search of Earth some planet that’s like Earth but hasn’t been destroyed in a nuclear holocaust. Did humanity ever find a new home? Did they ever achieve a lasting peace with the “good” Cylons? Did anyone ever figure out what the deal was with “All Along The Watchtower”? And, most important, what happened to the Zephyr? Well … that would be the same thing that happened to every other ship that survived the journey:


Me: “Nooooooooo!!!!”

Sadly for the Zephyr, the Colonials deliberately scuttled their entire fleet after their last catastrophic encounter with the “bad” Cylons. (But not to worry. No one was on board any of those ships. Well, almost no one. One character piloted the Galactica, and the other ships were all programmed to follow it into the sun.) Why did they destroy their own fleet? So they could settle on a new planet Earth (that would be this planet Earth) and make a new start, integrating with the native human population without pesky, destructive things like rebellious robotic servants or nuclear weapons or the ability to travel at faster-than-light speed or modern medicine getting in the way. A coda, set 150,000 years later — that is to say, in modern times — reveals that one of the passengers on the Galactica became “Mitochondrial Eve”, ancestor of all modern people.

The Colonials are here to protect you from unsanitized communications equipment and bad hair.
The Colonials are here to protect you from unclean communications equipment and bad hair.

Yes, that’s right. The Colonials are the Golgafrinchans.

Now, I didn’t detest the ending the way many people seemed to. I did find it rather unbelievable that the Colonials would scuttle all their ships, especially given that there is still a basestar full of Cylon centurions out there who know where Earth is; but those were “good” Cylons, and they evidently didn’t come back after 150,000 years, so it seems it all worked out. They could have at least left us a Raptor or two though …

With “BSG” played out, I decided to watch a few episodes of “Firefly”, just so that for once, when my wife woke up and said “Is this ‘Firefly’?” I could say yes.

Wife: “This show is superior to ‘Battlestar Galactica’ in every way.”
Me: “Except longevity.”

All I can say is, you’d never see Mal ordering Wash to fly Serenity into a star. And if he did, I’m pretty sure Kaylee would have clubbed him over the head with a spanner.

One thought on “One Last Non-Review Of “Battlestar Galactica”

  1. Okay, you totally lost me on that last paragraph, but I’m just glad you saw all of BSG before it went off Netflix! Now are you going to start watching Orange Is The New Black or House of Cards?


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